Prevailing Warrior is the meaning of Vinson Lewis aka "Baby Butter".
August 1, 2001 - October 1, 2001.
Tomorrow is his 7th birthday.
While the tears are few and far between, the pain will always remain.
I know that will be my very first question in heaven ... "why".
Why do all my brothers & sisters have sons and not me?
Why was I only allowed to have him for 2 months?
Why was he taken the day before my birthday?
Why did I never have a picture taken with him (I was always behind the camera).
Sometimes I even ask why wasn't I worthy to have him longer?
I know I'll never know the answer to these questions.
BUT there are things I am grateful for and they were even more magnified by reading a fellow SIDS mom's blog.
I was not the one that found him not breathing in his bed, therefore I don't have that picture in my mind. My last picture of him was when I left for work that morning and he was sleeping peacefully in his crib.
I was not the one that had to do CPR on him.
I was not the one that had to call 911
I never had a holiday with him, thus I don't "remember when" at holidays.
He had been to the doctor 3 days previously and the doctor described him as "perfect" so I know I was doing everything right as a mom.
Yup .. my previaling warrior will be 7 years old tomorrow.
Love and miss you Butter!
2 comments:
So sorry Amy. Thanks for sharing that with us and thanks for reminding us to appreciate our boys.
i am so happy that you have found some small things to be grateful for. and while i'm sad we share this painful experience, i'm grateful to have you in my life. love you.
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