Prevailing Warrior is the meaning of Vinson Lewis aka "Baby Butter".
August 1, 2001 - October 1, 2001.
Tomorrow is his 7th birthday.
While the tears are few and far between, the pain will always remain.
I know that will be my very first question in heaven ... "why".
Why do all my brothers & sisters have sons and not me?
Why was I only allowed to have him for 2 months?
Why was he taken the day before my birthday?
Why did I never have a picture taken with him (I was always behind the camera).
Sometimes I even ask why wasn't I worthy to have him longer?
I know I'll never know the answer to these questions.
BUT there are things I am grateful for and they were even more magnified by reading a fellow SIDS mom's blog.
I was not the one that found him not breathing in his bed, therefore I don't have that picture in my mind. My last picture of him was when I left for work that morning and he was sleeping peacefully in his crib.
I was not the one that had to do CPR on him.
I was not the one that had to call 911
I never had a holiday with him, thus I don't "remember when" at holidays.
He had been to the doctor 3 days previously and the doctor described him as "perfect" so I know I was doing everything right as a mom.
Yup .. my previaling warrior will be 7 years old tomorrow.
Love and miss you Butter!